Over the past week, I noticed a reoccurring pattern butting its ugly, and sometimes necessary, head into my life, at expected and very random times. Oh hey there struggle. A year ago if someone had asked me why people struggle, I would have probably given a clichéd response about self-deprivation or the current, ever favorite scapegoat: the economy.  However, over the past year and especially in the last week, I’ve realized that while struggling may be ugly, the process and outcome of struggling can be quite liberating.

I pride myself on a hard work ethic, for me it’s what creates character. I strive for it to be something I practice in all aspects of my life: personal and professional. Because work ethic is such a prominent theme in my existence, when situations aren’t successful for me (both personally and professionally) I take it very hard and go into hyper self-analysis mode.

This past week, I found myself at a crossroads. Now anyone who knows me will tell you I’m my own worst critic, but it would not have taken Roger Ebert to figure out something was off in my normally sublime world. “You have to roll to the bottom before you can reach the top” seemed to be the song lyric of choice on repeat in my mind.

Before I realized it, my team (in both work and life, that’s how we roll) was surrounding me in a veil of support, being able to recognize the one thing I could not: I was struggling.  I felt it of course. I knew in the back of my mind that I was having a tough time, but whether it be my ego  or knowing that saying it out loud made it true, I couldn’t acknowledge it… until I had no choice.

There is beauty in truth. We forget sometimes that colleagues, family, best friends, acquaintances, clients, and even your favorite barista at Starbucks are not mind readers and you probably do a better job at concealing your feelings than you give yourself credit for. Recognizing that I was struggling made it real, but it also provided the people who care about me and want to see me succeed step in.  So what did we do next? We owned it as a team and had a fantastic whiteboard brainstorm session (ask anyone else who knows me, I love a good whiteboard).

Now this is where the fun comes in. After our fantastic whiteboard session we had a plethora of re-organization: new ideas, new strategies, new processes, and I had my sublime spirit back. I was back the next day, ready to tackle our tasks in a smart, methodical and strategic way. Now, a year ago I would have dwelled on the fact that at first I did not succeed, but this time I moved on. Not being successful 100 percent of the time is life; it’s how you recover, learn and move forward that counts. Michael Jordan said it best:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

I learned a lot this week, I felt a lot this week and I moved forward a lot this week. But I didn’t do it alone, I couldn’t do it alone and I wouldn’t want to. It’s pretty liberating to say that struggle creates success and I’ve never believed anything more.

Sometimes I reside in a pretty bubble full of friends who believe as I do that tweeting and facebooking is perfectly normal – even essential – for personal and business use. After attending a few networking events this week, I was reminded that I am a minority. Most of the population stares at my bubble with a huge question mark and many make a point to stay far away as if it was marked with a danger sign. In fact, in the last two days, three people have told me that they are scared of social media and don’t want to mess with it. Why is it scary? Because it is powerful and new.

Here are 2 ways to avoid social media disasters that cause usually savvy business professionals to flee the new media scene:

1. Think twice before you post. Whether updating your status on behalf on your business or yourself, it is crucial think about the purpose of that post and if it aligns with how you want to be perceived. Double-check your spelling and grammar. Think again. Then go ahead and post.
2. Don’t ignore a negative comment. The horror stories about big name companies getting slammed online often stems from a few complaints or negative comments about the brand that went unnoticed and weren’t dealt with immediately. In order to handle these situations properly, businesses must monitor the conversation around their brands/services and then be ready to respond. The comment of “Thank you for voicing your concern, we are looking into it”, is perfectly acceptable until you can determine the next steps.

Above all, the more educated people become on social media and how to use it, the less scary it will be. Like all powers (not to get all Harry Potter on you), there is a dichotomy of positive and negative. There are any overwhelming amount of amazing stories about the good that social media has brought. The negative action will happen whether you are logged-in or not, but chances of stopping a viral catastrophe are much higher if you are already conversing on the networks.

How do you view the online social realm? Do you reside in the bubble like me? What are your fears?

I spent the weekend in Los Angeles; my best friend lives there and she was celebrating a milestone birthday. I’ve become very familiar with the drive from San Diego to Los Angeles, between work and play, I’d say I’ve earned at least 2,000 frequent driver miles in the last year. The drive is simple and straightforward, 5 North to the 101 North, exit Santa Monica Boulevard. What I love about the drive from San Diego to Los Angeles is the feeling of simplicity in chaos it provides me. Numerous freeways attach to the 5 North at various given times on the 110 mile journey, thousands of cars speed past you, entering, exiting and maybe giving you dirty looks and yelling if you’re driving too slow in the left lane (hint, hint), but in the midst of this chaos, all one must remember to do is to stay on the 5.

Today on my trip back to San Diego from Los Angeles, my simplicity in chaos theory was thrown directly out the window, landing somewhere between Wilshire and Fairfax. As we made our way from the 101 South the traffic stopped, we didn’t think much of it seeing as how we were in Los Angeles. As we inched our way to the ramp to enter the 5 South, my heart skipped a beat: the entire ramp to the 5 freeway was shut down for construction all the way to Irvine. My simple trip home had suddenly become complicated. We quickly found ourselves in a slow moving lane of traffic on the 10 East, next to the University of Southern California campus. We pulled off at the next exit and quickly and stopped at a 7-11 to reevaluate our situation, as we were in unfamiliar territory, low on gas and extremely tired.

After a quick call to our hostess and a couple of road checks on our iPhones, we had a new route home, one that involved a bit of backtracking and various freeway numbers that ended in 05 and 10. My heart rate began to accelerate and I started to get very nervous. I was very comfortable with my simplistic drive to and from Los Angeles; I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about this personally unexplored, new path home.

Eventually (and not in too terrible of traffic) we were on the right freeway home and coasting to our final destination. I started to think about all the metaphorical references I could use this experience for, how many goals (or final destinations) do we have at any given time period? How many of us stay on the path we feel most comfortable with to get there?  How many of us get nervous when a path less traveled is the only option for success?

I make goals every day, some lofty, some realistic. I believe that hard work takes you to your goals, that nothing is unattainable with the right work ethic, constant education and determination. However, I missed one very big lesson- change. Working methodically, on a path that you know will succeed is smart; however being unprepared for adjustments is not. Unforeseen changes can happen at any moment, in any aspect of life. Methodical paths are not always going to stay on the straight and narrow and, in some cases one must apply the old adage, “if at first you don’t succeed try, try again”.

What is the lesson here?  Sometimes the freeway is going to be closed. You can’t control it, you can’t change it, but you can recognize it, own it and find another freeway around it. The path to success varies, and the simplest route won’t always be open. Don’t get discouraged, simply find a new freeway.

Oh and yes, I made it back to San Diego by way of the 101 North to the 110 South to the 10 West to the 405 South and eventually, back to the 5 South. It was a beautiful trip… and one worth taking.